I started to wonder what I would have wanted, if I had written a post a year ago about my wishes for 2012. It's been a year that I never could have predicted but we are out the other side, and feeling positive about the year ahead. I suppose that, this time last year, I would have wanted 2012 to finally bring a diagnosis for J, to bring the end of that particular fight, and to start getting people to be less dismissive and take everything that J was having to cope with more seriously.
2012 did bring us that diagnosis, and I wrote about that year here, although not in the way that I had imagined.
So then I began to think about what I am wishing for this year. I never make resolutions (I'd rather be a bit flexible, and see what the world throws at us day by day!) So instead I'm making three wishes. My first thought was that by this time next year I would wish for J to be back in full time education. And I really do want this for him, but I know that setting deadlines for this is not necessarily helpful, as it is an incredibly slow process, and we need to expect downs as well as ups.
So my first wish for this year is that J continues to increase the amount of hours he can cope with at school, and can also start to cope with more than just one to one lessons, that he can start to be part of the school community again. Hopefully the statement process that we are in the middle of will have a positive conclusion, and support him with that.
My second is that my daughter can go to her ballet summer school this year. The world (and the Olympics) worked against us last summer, and J would not have coped with me being away for a whole week. My Mum and sister have offered to take shifts this year if needed, but the idea of me and my lovely girl having a week together in London, and for her to do what she loves - to dance - is definitely my second wish for this year.
And my third is a little one, a bit of a selfish one too. It's that my husband and I get to have an evening out together, just a couple of hours for a meal and a drink. We haven't had one in about a year and a half, so its long overdue.
So that's it really. I don't like to set unrealistic goals, or expect too much. We have learnt in this last year more than ever that life is unpredictable and doesn't always stick to the plan. But if, in a years time, we are all happy and healthy, and my three wishes have come true, then I can't ask for more than that.
Aw, your 3rd wish is so simple, and something that the vast majority take for granted, but I totally understand because my partner and I have only been out together as a couple twice in the last 5 years. Both times Euan drove and we were only gone for a few hours. Time together is really vital, and being able to sit and talk for 10 minutes without interruption will get more said than 2 hours of normal life. If you were closer I'd be delighted to visit and get to know your children and then babysit for you, then you could babysit for my lot in return!
ReplyDeleteIs there anyone you know who understands your children and would like to have a reciprocal arrangement with you? You could then both go out once a month... :)
We're going to start going out once New Year and Christmas are over - trusting the biggest lad to be in charge, and the other teenagers to take a degree of responsibility for themselves and the little ones...and not just spend 2 hours bickering about who gets to play on the Playstation :D
You so have to do the ballet school. It'll be good for everyone. Your son may find it hard, but with plenty of warning he won't have an argument, he'll be well looked after and, (blase comment) he will get over it :D
DeleteThat would be a good plan Jen! It's more how J would cope with us both being out, and in the evening. But I reckon we might try just an hour for a drink one evening and see how he goes. Am definitely going to try the ballet school. He knows about it already, and I won't tell him that my mum and sister can help out so he doesn't realise it's an option, if that makes sense. Have them as back up just incase! x
DeleteI hope that your wishes come true! Happy new year to you all xx
ReplyDeleteThank you :-) And Happy New Yeat to you too xx
DeleteThose are great wishes and you definitely deserve them all - including the third! If I was a genie, Id let you rub my lamp right now. ;) xx happy new year xxx
ReplyDelete;-D Happy New Year to you too xxx
DeleteMay all your wishes come true. I can remember being where you are now with J with my eldest son. Everything worked out fine for us in the end, fingers crossed it does for you too. Happy New Year xx
ReplyDeleteWonderful wishes. Hoping they all come true for you x
ReplyDeleteYour third wish is NOT selfish , as happy parents help make for happy kids. Hope all your wishes come true :)
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone - and Happy New Year :-)
ReplyDeleteYour third wish is not little, nor is it selfish. (Although as an ASD mom myself, I understand why you think that.) I think you need to wish bigger and aim for four or even six times per year, impossible as that may sound. Yes, it might be rough the first few times, but in the end, everyone will benefit.
ReplyDeleteThat's my wish for you (and your husband). Good luck, and happy new year!